am i an unfit mother

Katie x, Mother and baby unit, advice neede please...x. Share this conversation . Your living arrangements sound quite risky Rina, it doesn't sound as though you are feeling safe, is that right? The mother was supposed to come pick him up from school, but she totally forgot on more than one occasion. I occasionally fantasize about being a healthy, active mom with the cute pants and the bike with a baby chariot on the back. In fact, we barely know each other. Take some time to think about the mother’s behavior and list any instances of physical or emotional abuse, excessive discipline, drug or alcohol abuse, or convictions for sexual offenses. I understand how you feel as I too have mental health problems x. Hi Rina, just to explain we have moved this to one of our advice and support boards. I recently put two and two together and realized I'm pregnant. My best friend in elementary school had a mother that fit this description. I never felt so horrible for getting knocked up.. Im the last person on the planet who should have kids... im mentally ill and have major social anxiety due to poor upbringing, i tried multiple times in the past to get a job, and it never has worked out, i just cant get along with others because i cant communicate very well, and often it causes conflict. In other words, although I am a lawyer, I’m not your lawyer. However, the fitness of the primary caretaker is, of course, an important consideration in determining the best interests of the child. You can send questions and comments to legal@quickanddirtytips.com. You do have mental health problems but that doesn’t make you a bad mother. 3. You need to do your research and keep these standards in mind as you build your argument that the other parent is unfit. When my parents got divorced the judge granted my father sole custody. She abused my sister and I physically, mentally and emotionally and cheated on my father and involved us in it. The information Netmums Parent Supporters provide is not intended to substitute professional health advice. Your go would be able to help you and if you need a chat on me. Medical treatment for the infection is so important, have you been treated for this? It has been a while since you posted here, have you been able to see your GP as of yet? A mother won’t be considered unfit just because she doesn’t have a complete library of Baby Einstein DVDs. Do you have anyone that you can talk to about this, such as the housing authority? My partner tried to help me get disability benefits so i could afford to go get medical help, was a horrible ordeal trying to say your piece to an emotionless robot who couldnt stand my sniveling pressence and was bored by my plights. Rachel from Tennessee asks: “What does it take to prove a mother unfit in court?”. Legally speaking, that is. The primary caretaker rule has gained acceptance due to the evidence of psychologists regarding the bond between a child and his or her primary caretaker as very important. However, if there is a major difference in workload between the two parents, the parent with the flexibility to spend significantly more time with the child might have an advantage in a custody battle. Wore same filthy clothes and barely took baths, toilet was FILTHY and was revolted when using the bathroom i had some toilet water splash against my privates... and shortly after got a serious uti, i still have it to today and think my kidney is infected. As well meaning as people are online I really think you would benefit from help in person and your GP is the best place to start. What can I do for the court to prove that I am not? You should speak with your GP so you can get the help you need. Gather evidence. orangey03 November 12, 2011 . Im horrified of people actually, their unpredictability and close cliches makes me have nervous breakdowns and panic attacks, i think it was due to being beaten and kicked in the head by two boys plus the years of being a outkast and perfect bullying target (never could fight or talk back) but the only way i feel comfortable in talking is through text. First, I am sorry for your current situation - the breakdown of a marriage is immensely difficult and emotionally draining, particularly when the bonds of trust have been broken. I do not have a criminal record. Now: The Best Interests of the Child. I am currently its poster child. Im just so tired of trying anymore, i have no one to talk to and feel so very alone... Hi Rina, Every state has a different standard for what constitutes an unfit parent. I understand how you feel as I too have mental health problems x The parent seeking “full-custody”, to become the sole care giver, must prove to the courts that the other parent is unfit to care for the children. You should always consult with an attorney when a custody issue arises. How are things now? Category: Family Law. Your go would be able to help you and if you need a chat on me. He holds degrees from Yale, Oxford, and the University of Chicago. Ask Your Own Family Law Question. Have you seen your GP about the pregnancy yet? Hi Rena you are not stupid or an unfit mother. I am a social worker, and I always lobby to get the child in with relatives if at all possible. Nowadays, only a few states have a presumption in favor of the mother. Thinking About Leaving My Wife For Being An Unfit Mother - Unfit Mother Stories My Friend Is An Alcoholic And Might Be An Unfit Mother. No you are not an unfit mother but a responsible one who realises that her feelings are reaching a crisis point. Good luck. i was unapproved, i really needed the financial help to try and get me on my feet to try and become a human being... i really need to see someone about my social problems and this fear and hate of people, i need to see someone for this infection and pray it doesnt hurt my developing baby, i need help :( but im stupid and dont have any confidence, all people make me do is freeze up and my mind goes blank, i stutter and talk like a baby or a child or i jist burst into tears.. i dont know what to do pr who to go to.. i have no job, no car, no license amd no food for both me and my unborn child and im always on the toilet urinating every 2 minutes and puking if im starving or if i ate something. Submitted: 6 years ago. Most states have embraced a standard of equality: neither parent is assumed to be a more appropriate parent. In all states, the paramount consideration in deciding child custody cases is the “best interest of the child.”. How many presents do you buy for your children. He is the author of The Naked Constitution (2012). Sent from my LG-H850 using Netmums mobile app, Hello Rina, Nowadays, only a few states have a presumption in favor of the mother. This will give you the opportunity to take your time and talk to them about the pregnancy and your struggles as they will be able to discuss options such as therapy or possible medication that could be suitable throughout pregnancy. Most states have embraced a standard of equality: neither parent is assumed to be a more appropriate parent. I would suggest posting again in the drop in clinic to get a reply from a parental supporter. Answered in 1 minute by: 1/26/2012. Again, custody laws differ from state to state, and the outcome will depend on the facts of the specific case. Please do come back and chat a little more, we would like to keep listening and offer you some support here if we can. Great question, Rachel! Sent from my iPhone using Netmums, You should speak with your GP so you can get the help you need.